(tune: Simple Gifts)
'Tis a gift to be simple, and so when I see
A bright flash of light blow the shit out of a tree
The last thing I think of is electricity
'Cause if I can't understand it, it must be a deity

Thor, Zeus, Jupiter, or someone more obscure
But that it's some divinity, of that I am quite sure
Some may talk of reason but one thing makes sense to me
If I can't understand it, it must be a deity.

(tune: Amazing Grace)
Some heretics have dared to state
We circle 'round the Sun
And that the world is older than
The Good Book says it begun

They gather facts, they offer proofs
And pit Faith against Theory
And cast doubt on those beliefs I've held
Since before I was three

So what should I believe, I ask
The answer is plain to see
If I can't understand it,
It must be a deity

(tune: original tune by G. Hanak)
Genetics, evolution, spans of time I cannot grasp
On the opportunity to learn such, we should pass
Mortals are we, it's not right, it should be plain to see
We should not aspire to be like divinities

Evolution seems absurd--it's all planned, that's plain to see
Stem cell research should be banned, so don't spout facts at me
Contraception is a sin, it says so on page three
Every sperm is sacred, every egg someone should be

…instrumental…

All life's answers are in one book, though which one not all agree
But it's not one based on science, and not on technology
Be it paleo-, neuro-, bio-, geo-, or archaeology
I can't understand them, they all sound like Greek to me

If I can't understand it
If I can't understand it
If I can't understand it
If I can't understand it

If I can't understand it, lightning, physics, or genetics
Be it mysteries or magics, doesn't matter what the facts is
If I can't understand it
If I can't understand it
If I can't understand it, it must be a deity.
…deity…
…deity…